The Benefit of Sharing a Meal with Others a.k.a. Commensality – Part 1

(4 minute read)

Commensality is the act of sharing a meal with others, but it is so much more than just that. Sociology suggests that humans enjoy eating together or in groups ⁽¹⁾. It is not just what we eat, but who we eat with, which forms an integral part of the experience ⁽²⁾.

(Thanks to my mate Steve who let me share this photo. This photo summarises for me what families gatherings should look like, happy memories right there, which is why I asked if I could share it)

 

Background

Now this word ‘Commensality’ is a word I knew nothing about until I started my Masters of Audiology Research Project; it then became my obsession for 12 months. Our project investigated if hearing loss affected the family meal, and if so how? The project uncovered some interesting facts (but that’s for another topic), and what we discovered led to the creation of the Ambient Menu. It is, therefore, appropriate to dedicate my first ever blog to the topic of commensality and what it is. There are so many things I want to say about this topic that it has filled not one, but two blogs full of tidbits of information.

 

When families dine together, there are many positive outcomes, but what are they? The act of eating is more than a nutritional need. Shared eating provides interaction with others that establishes and strengthens social ties, assists in building personal relationships and provides a form of social integration and identity ⁽⁴⁾.

 

Benefits of Commensality (just to mention a few)

 

1. Socialisation

The meal establishes friendships and sets social precedents which help shape people’s social networks. Eating with the family is one of the most ancient references of familiarity. It is where the interactions that sustain a family continuously reoccur, and for many families, the main meal is the only time for the whole family to interact ^{(5), (6)}. We need to eat to survive, but commensality also satisfies a need for interaction with others. In some cultures, dining together indicates eating amongst equals, making them more alike and bringing them close together. Commensality preserves and builds up kinship and creates a bond where friends become family.

 

2. Nutrition

Nutrition is improved as socialising, social support, and social control promote healthy choices and reduce unhealthy lifestyles. Eating alone outside the influence of others may lead to unhealthy eating behaviours such as overeating, undereating, or unhealthy food choices leading to diet-related illnesses ^{(8), (9)}.

 

2 (a) Reduced rates of Obesity

Commensality reflects set mealtimes and is a key to eating well. Having 3 big meals suppresses appetite and snacking between meals. Most of the research indicates that countries and families who engage in commensality often have lower obesity rates. For example, France and Italy who engage in commensality more than other European countries, have a lower obesity rate. In France, they eat with others 80% of the time and have an obesity rate of 10%, while in the United Kingdom, families only eat together 17.6% of the time and have an obesity rate of 30% ⁽¹⁾.

 

2 (b) Smaller portion sizes

Lonely people are said to ‘eat their emotions’ and may overeat when in private. Multiple studies on eating habits of obese people found participants tend to adjust their intake to behave ‘appropriately’ and conform to others habits at the table. When in public, they consume much less than when they are home alone, where they can eat without judgment. This indicates social control is exerted upon eating behaviour and plays an essential part in portion sizes consumed by individuals ⁽¹⁾.

 

3. Feeling of belonging

Eating together implies and encourages a bond. Commensality has an instrumental effect on social integration where it is a chance to be together and converse, which has been shown to increase self-esteem. Even when they are not eating, members share experiences, keep each other company and engage in lively conversations. Sharing food is one way of maintaining identity, and regular eating within that kinship group appears to be part of that process.

 

4. Better mental health in adolescents

A systematic review of the effects of family meal frequency and psychosocial outcomes in youth, found that regular family meals reduce the rates of disordered eating, alcohol and substance abuse. Violent behaviour, feelings of depression and suicidal tendencies were also reduced. The review found a positive relationship between frequent family dinners and increased self-esteem and school success, with females having more positive results than teen males ⁽¹⁰⁾.

 

 

Negative Outcomes of Commensality

 

Well, every upside has a downside, so I can’t talk about all the pros of commensality without acknowledging that while the research is overwhelmingly positive, there are circumstances where this is not the case. Many of the following negative associations are not backed by research; they are my observations. For example, 25 years in the emergency services showed me that not every family should dine together; in fact, some families should NOT get together….. ever….. because when they do, it ends with the attendance of an Ambulance or the Police. So, whilst I am a fan of commensality and it’s benefits, I also acknowledge that this may not be the case for everyone for the following reasons.

 

1. It can bring out anti-social behaviour

You can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family. If you don’t find someone pleasant, dining with them won’t be a pleasant experience no matter what the evidence says. If tension already exists amongst family members, the gathering may exacerbate those tensions. I refer here to the point I made in the intro……

 

2. Risk of Overeating

Whilst most of the research indicates commensality reduces portion sizes, there is a risk that the more relaxed we are = the more disinhibited we are = there is a risk of overeating. Some research shows that people eat more when surrounded by others than alone, partly because people sit down for longer at the meal table and engage in conversation while grazing. Eating alone may be less enjoyable, so people may spend less time at the table.

 

2 (a) Obese families

If you are surrounded by people who make poor food choices, you are also more likely to eat poorly. 87.43% of obese parents have overweight children by the time they are 7 years old. A long-term study found that the family’s diet, exercise and lifestyle were the dominant factors in this, not genetics ⁽¹³⁾. This is called ‘modelling’, which affects the way people eat in the presence of others. If they eat in the presence of someone who eats a lot, they also eat a lot, while a dining companion with a small appetite tends to reduce appetite.

 

3. Excludes others

Whilst commensality bonds participants, it also excludes those who are not invited. When they find out people caught up without them, it can add to their insecurities.

 

4. If you have kids, mealtime is not relaxing…… AT ALL

As Sarah Ohlin said in her blog, Hot Mess, “family dinner can become a dreaded chore for many of us, and a break in routine is often lifesaving. When I feed my kids first……it feels like a load off my back…… I don’t have to worry about the nightly battle to get them to eat whatever meal I’ve concocted for all of us” ⁽¹¹⁾.

 

5. Teens sometimes don’t want to eat with their parents

One poll found that surprisingly, up to 26% of Australian teenagers eat dinner in their bedrooms ⁽¹²⁾. So when my son turns into a teenager this year, I am sure he’ll realise how embarrassing his parents actually are and won’t want to spend evenings with us….. but I hope it doesn’t come to him not wanting to eat with us at all.

 

6. Families don’t always have time to organise a family dinner

I can speak personally about this. The nights where we are running around playing taxi for our son’s sport, we all eat when we have time to eat.

 

 

Summary

 

Food is a gift that should be enjoyed, and it tastes better with friends (and that’s not just my opinion, that is backed by research). My next blog on this topic, you will find more fun facts about how food tastes better with friends, how eating with friends improves your mood, and how eating with co-workers can improve morale and team performance……. But I will leave you today with one of my favourite quotes about food by J.R.R. Tolkien,

 

“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

 

Updated: 21 November 2021 

 

References

 

1 Fischler, C. (2011). Commensality, society and culture. Social Science Information, 50(3–4), 528–548. https://doi.org/10.1177/0539018411413963

 

2 Meiselman, H.L, Johnson, J.L, Reeve, W, & Crouch, J.E. (2000). Demonstrations of the influence of the eating environment on food acceptance. Appetite, 35(3), 231-237.

 

3 Sobal, Jeffery, & Nelson, Mary K. (2003). Commensal eating patterns: A community study. Appetite, 41(2), 181-190.

 

4 Giacoman, C. (2016). The dimensions and role of commensality: A theoretical model drawn from the significance of communal eating among adults in Santiago, Chile. Appetite, 107, 460-470.

 

5 Oliveira, Ronaldo Gonçalves, Ferreira, Francisco Romão, & Prado, Shirley Donizete. (2017). Eating at the Table: Social Inclusion of a Deaf Person by their Family through Commensality. Demetra: Alimentação, Nutrição E Saúde, 12(4), Demetra: Alimentação, Nutrição e Saúde, 2017-07-13, Vol.12 (4).

 

6 Kniffin, Kevin M, Wansink, Brian, Devine, Carol M, & Sobal, Jeffery. (2015). Eating Together at the Firehouse: How Workplace Commensality Relates to the Performance of Firefighters. Human Performance, 28(4), 281-306.

 

7 Nakata, Ryuzaburo, & Kawai, Nobuyuki. (2017). The “social” facilitation of eating without the presence of others: Self-reflection on eating makes food taste better and people eat more. Physiology & Behavior, 179, 23-29.

 

8 Sidenvall, Birgitta, Nydahl, Margaretha, & Fjellström, Christina. (2000). The Meal as a Gift—The Meaning of Cooking Among Retired Women. Journal of Applied Gerontology, 19(4), 405-423.

 

9 Donkin, Angela J.M, Johnson, Angela E, Lilley, Jeanette M, Morgan, Kevin, Neale, Roger J, Page, Robert M, & Silburn, Richard L. (1998). Gender and Living Alone as Determinants of Fruit and Vegetable Consumption among the Elderly Living at Home in Urban Nottingham. Appetite, 30(1), 39-51.

 

10 Harrison, M. E., Norris, M. L., Obeid, N., Fu, M., Weinstangel, H., & Sampson, M. (2015). Systematic review of the effects of family meal frequency on psychosocial outcomes in youth. Canadian family physician Medecin de famille canadien, 61(2), e96–e106.

 

11 Ohlin, S., n.d. 5 Great Reasons Not To Have Family Dinner Every Night. [online] Project Hot Mess. Available at: <https://projecthotmess.com/5-great-reasons-not-to-have-family-dinner-every-night/> [Accessed 29 December 2020].

 

12 Meek, D. R. (2020). Dinner Table Syndrome: A Phenomenological Study of Deaf Individuals’ Experiences with Inaccessible Communication. Qualitative Report, 25(6), 1676A-1694.

 

13 Gray, L. A., Hernandez Alava, M., Kelly, M. P., & Campbell, M. J. (2018). Family lifestyle dynamics and childhood obesity: evidence from the millennium cohort study. BMC public health, 18(1), 500. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-018-5398-5

 

12 The Daily Mail Australia. 2010. One in four children eat dinner in their bedrooms: Tradition of families dining together ‘all but disappeared’. [online] Available at: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1313820/One-children-bedroom-diners-Tradition-families-eating-disappeared.html